Quiet Time: A Luxury or a Necessity?

We all get caught up in the chaos of everyday life.  We rush around trying to juggle work, school, sports, shopping, cleaning, cooking, and everything else that life throws at us. We run ourselves into the ground trying to be everything for everyone else and trying to accomplish as much as we can today so we can try to take a break tomorrow.  But why don’t we prioritize rest?  Some people see resting as a sign of weakness or laziness, when that’s the farthest thing from the truth.  There is no gold medal for getting the least amount of sleep and pushing yourself to the point of complete exhaustion.  If there was, I’d have earned it a very long time ago.

Physical Effects of Stress

What actually happens to our bodies when we put too much on ourselves? Well, our bodies are brilliant.  They know how to adjust to ensure our survival.  Hundreds of years ago humans had to run from predators in order to survive.  To make sure they didn’t lose steam, their bodies released adrenaline and cortisol.  This gave them the boost they needed to escape safely.  This is called the “Fight or Flight Response”.

Our bodies still do the same thing today.  When we feel physically threatened, our bodies prepare for a fight.  The blood vessels dilate to allow more blood flow to the muscles, the heart rate increases for increased oxygenation of the blood, pupils dilate for better vision, and adrenaline and cortisol are released.  These reactions make us sharper and faster for a short period of time.

However, our brains don’t know the difference between physical and mental stress.  When we feel overwhelmed and stressed, our bodies prepare for a physical fight.  So what happens to our bodies when we prepare for a fight and it doesn’t happen? What happens when this becomes a chronic issue? Several things can occur:

• Our bodies store the cortisol for later, in case “the predator” comes back.  It is stored in fat cells in around your belly.  If there isn’t enough fat in your belly to store the cortisol, your body will put more there to accommodate it.  This is why middle aged people get a “spare tire” around their mid-section.
• We stay on high alert for “the predator”.  This makes us jumpy and anxious.  Every little thing makes us react because we are hypersensitive to our environment.
•  We crash….hard!  When the adrenaline finally wears off, we become exhausted.  It’s not too bad if it’s a quick incident, but when this is a chronic problem it can make you feel completely worn out all the time.  No matter how much sleep you get, you’re always tired.
• Increased inflammation!  Inflammation is something the body creates to pad and protect an area that is injured.  The cushioning gives the area a cozy place to heal.  It’s a very useful mechanism until it becomes chronic.  Chronic inflammation causes a very long list of health problems, including arthritis, heart disease, auto-immune disease, stroke, and many more.

How to Fix It

The good news is you can fix this.  All you need is a little rest!  That sounds so simple, but we all know it isn’t.  Caring for yourself and honoring what your body needs is not selfish or lazy.  In fact, it’s an absolute necessity.  But self care looks different for everyone.  It’s not all bubble baths and massages.  Sometimes self care means meal planning so you don’t have to worry about what to make for dinner at the last minute, or creating a functional budget to relieve your financial worries.  Reframing some of the tasks that stress you can free up quite a bit of down time for you.

Once you have some down time, what do you actually do with yourself??  If you’re like me, this is a really tough challenge.  I worked so hard for so long that I had no idea what I enjoyed doing.  If you feel stressed and overwhelmed trying to think of ways to relax, you’re not alone.  The best advice I can give you is to start simple.

• Find a good book you can escape in for a while, and set aside a special time every day to read it.  It might only start out as 15 minutes after dinner, but that’s a beautiful start.
• Make a list of things that sound like fun.  Tap into your inner child and see what she/he wants to do.  Run through the sprinkler with the kids, go to a fair, paint your nails, blow bubbles, etc…Be silly and play!
• Pick up an old hobby or start a new one.  Doing something creative with your hands gives your mind something peaceful to do.  Try knitting, coloring, building model cars, or drawing.  Art journaling is also a wonderful tool because it’s a creative outlet and it helps you get your thoughts and feelings out.
• Get outside.  Weather permitting (and sometimes not!), sit outside for a little while every day.  Go for a walk and don’t look at your phone.  Disconnect from all technology and reconnect with the earth.  It’s incredibly refreshing.
• Meditate.  If you know me, you hear me talk about meditating all the time.  It’s quiet time for your brain.  So many people tell me “I tried it and I’m terrible at it!”  Nobody is terrible at meditation.  You can simply sit quietly somewhere with your eyes closed, or you can listen to soft music too.  If you start getting frustrated that your brain won’t “turn off”, there are several apps for your phone that have guided meditations.  Guided meditations help you focus on something instead of your thoughts.  My favorite app is called Insight Timer.  It’s free and is filled with a ton of content.

Our bodies, minds, and spirits need self care and quiet time to rest.  It is a basic life need that we have deprioritized completely.  You are worthy of self care.  You deserve to be taken care of by the one person that is supposed to love you more than anyone else…YOU!